Figuring out how life works

 

Taylor and I are babies ourselves, trying to figure out how real life works.  Tax forms?  IRAs?  Investment portfolios?  Life insurance?  Prostate exams?  We feel like we are stumbling along, pretending like we know what we are doing and scared to death we will mess up our happy little life.

But as we watch Emmeline stumble around, figuring out how life works, our hearts enlarge to a dangerous size.  She moves forward fearlessly, excited to take on new challenges and new adventures.  I feel so pleased and so proud and so in love and so supportive and so protective as she grasps around to figure things out.  That must be how our Heavenly Father feels about me.

So here are just a couple anecdotes I want to remember about her "figuring out life." 


Toilet:

Oh man, why is the toilet so interesting?   Every time our home gets quiet, I know Emmeline is in the bathroom with a toilet scrubber, trying to "clean."  Today she surprised me by finding the toilet bowl bleach (bad mom moment) and taking it to the potty - how does she know that's where is goes!?

Laundry:

Emmeline loves to help me fold the clothes....I fold, she inspects, unfolds, and wags her finger at me.  Today while I was in shower, I turned around from scrubbing my hair to see a dark pile at my feet.  Without my contacts in, I had to get down close to see...Emmeline had picked through all my laundry to find just my jeans, and thrown those into the shower.  Apparently it was laundry day for her!

Bathroom humor:

Her grandpa likes it, her dad likes it, and now her too - bathroom humor.  Every time Emmeline toots, she laughs and laughs and laughs, and tries hard to toot again - often straining so hard we have to change her pants.  But no one likes to poop in a dirty diaper, and inevitably within 2 minutes of changing a diaper she stinks it up!  I am going to start charging her.  But this past week was the best (worst).  She pooped in the tub, and in the time I turned around to grab cleaning supplies, she threw her big stinky prizes over the tub onto the bathroom floor.  I honestly think she was aiming for the toilet.  She is hygienic and I don't get paid enough.

I love her naked body, and she loves to poop naked.

 Words:  

I see Emmeline watch me as I talk, eager to mimic what I say and how I say it.  She says "baby" every time she sees a kid (regardless of age) and wants to nurture that baby.  She says "toooootsies" and wiggles her cute toes.  She yells "MINE" to get her way, and "NO" with a wagging finger when she doesn't get her way.  A dog says (whispered) "woof woof", a cat says "MYOW!", and a car says "CAR!"

"Baby!"  (Calvin, who is as big as she is.)  "VROOOOM!"

Shoes:

Emmeline LLLLOVES "shoos!", and several times a day has to raid her, mine, Taylor, or whoever's shoe bins to find the perfect pair.  She especially loves walking around in her dad's big shoes.  What amazes me is how she finds pairs!  The two shoes have to match.  My 15 month old is a genius.

 

Bossy, Bossy, Bossy:

She may look just like her daddy, but I think my baby girl acts a lot like me, for good or her bad.  And she is BOOOOOSSY.  She makes her wishes well known with a persistent wag of her pointer finger.  We recently spent Spring Break at the cabin riding the "VROOM VROOM," which she loved.  When our friend McKayla Romboy came to visit, Emmeline immediately grabbed McKayla's hand, and with her pointer finger directed her to join Emmeline on the quad, turn on the gas, and go.   She is bossy, and usually gets her way.

Bossing around the Med Students, Riding with McKayla

FaceTime:

Everything has become Emmeline's phone - particularly our external hardrive, which I guess could like like an iphone.  She holds whatever item in hand at the time, and talks like she is in an important phone conference.  But Emmeline especially loves to FaceTime her daddy at school - she jabbers and jibbers and tells stories and gives high fives and rocks and kisses.  She knows how to express love.  Is that human nature, or an acquired skill?  I need to show love better like her.

Happy to FaceTime her Auntie M.

Buttons, Chairs, and Stairs, OH MY!

The world is her chair.  If it can be sat, she sits, if it can be pushed, she pushes, and if it can be climbed, she climbs.  She finds the most creative things to claim as her own.  It is so fun...and a little heart-stopping...to see what she finds.

Friends:

Emmeline has never met a stranger (except Mr. Fong, my mother's principle, whom she is never nice to!).  She can be exhausted, hungry, cranky, in a terrible mood - but if we are arriving or leaving somewhere, she has to loudly say "HI!" and "BYE!" to everyone repeatedly.  She loves my Primary kids, terrorizes the nursery babes (even though she is not even old enough to be there yet)! and has found true friendship with our little Turkish neighbors.  She loves people.

Speaking Turkish with her BFF, Maryem.

We love figuring out the world alongside our babe.

 

Our Insignificant Significant Days

Today was a perfect day.

Most days are absolutely perfect.  I feel so happy and so grateful.  I really can't think of anything that could be better.  Kathy Dobbs always tells me that these are the last of the "good old days."  Nothing spectacular is happening, but every little moment is special.  I love staying at home with my sweet baby, I love watching her little personality grow, I love my husband, I love my home, I love my activities, I love life.

Here is a recap of today - nothing momentous, but each special moment makes it a memorable day.


7:45 - I wake up to husband kisses as he brings me breakfast in bed. (Yes, I get up a little late.  But I stay up pretty late every night to wait for Tay to come home).  He is so busy, but he likes to make breakfast and I love his kisses.

8:00 - I start to watch a legislative budget hearing for the Dept of Health and Human Service real time online.  My job is to note all the questions directed to the presenters.  This morning's hearing was on elder care and autism spectrum services funding.  The public comments and testimonials are so emotional today.

8:15 - Emmeline polishes off her eggs and yogurt, and dumps everything else off on the floor.  I get an email notifying me that I was chosen to be a Judge for the National History Day student competition.  I am excited to put on my history pants and participate!

8:30 - I keep watching the hearing as I watch my girl in the tub.  NOTHING is cuter than her scrawny-pudgy naked little body.  I love her giggles.

9:00 - We lather up her dry skin and try to get dressed.  This is a process because she can do it all HERSELF. She loves to run around naked, so I wrestle to get her diaper on. She loves the word "shoes" and we spend some time looking at all her shoes.  Emmeline is dressed to perfection everyday, thanks to Grandma Hardy Jr.  I want Emmeline's wardrobe.

9:30 - We read a book, clean up the breakfast mess, continue to watch the budget hearing.  She goes down for a nap happily.  She has been a little sick...and so very snuggly.  I feel guilty that I enjoy her sick day so much.

11:30 - I have showered, gotten dressed, finished the hearing, and watched Parenthood episodes as I clean up around the house.  I keep waiting for my girl to peep - but she never does.  She is sleepy.  We have somewhere to be, so I finally go wake her up.  I love seeing her eyes slowly open and hearing her smile "mama."  She knows me and trusts me.  I hope I will always be worthy of her trust.

12:00 - We meet my childhood friend Megan at Trader Joes.  Megan has two little babes who call Emmeline "Lemon Lime."  It is the CUTEST thing in the world.  I love seeing the funky foods, fresh produce, and beautiful flowers.   We buy daffodils.  We meet up with another med wife - Claire, and her babe Calvin, who Emmeline loves.  I am grateful for good friends in Reno - the old ones and the new ones.  Emmeline practices her new word to get a sucker at Trader Joes - "MINE!"

1:00 - On the way home from the store, we stop by the med school to say hi to Taylor.  Just three days from now is the final exam for this difficult, never-ending block.  He has been studying like a mad man but maintains that he will never be able to study it all.  Emmeline knows her way around the med school lounge, opening all the lockers and playing fooseball.  She loves and is loved by the med students.  I am grateful Taylor has such good friends and classmates.  I am always a little nervous that his classmates think poorly of me - like my whole job is to be a provincial wife who just stays at home and cooks and cleans and brings my husband lunch.  But that is my job right now, and I actually love it.  We leave ice cream balls for the med students.

1:15 - We come home and try to get the groceries inside.  I love our campus apartment, but the hardest part is the "long" walk from the parking lot to the apartment when trying to carry lots of bags.  Emmeline likes to walk herself, but she has her own ideas about the pace and where to go.  We look at every rock and play in the sand.  A student who works in the office walks behind us and opens the gate for us.  Emmeline grabs his hand and mine and we three walk together.  He had no idea he would join our little family today.

1:45 - We put away groceries and make lunch.  Emmeline is a huge mess - thank goodness for our rather ugly computer mats that protect the carpet under her high chair and thank goodness for Spray N Wash.  During lunch we chat and chat...she is picking up on new words all the time.  SHOES!  MAMAMAMAMAMAMAM!!!!  Pease?  MINE!

2:30 - We head over to visit our Turkish friends, who live in our same apartment complex.  We LOVE this family.  The mom, Seval, is lovely and wise and kind - Emmeline loves her and loves her cooking.  She sends us home healthy Turkish food at least three times a week.  Her two children, Maryem and Yunus, are so fun and so kind to Emmeline.  They play and play.  We have a pretty hard time understanding each other...but I think Emmeline is picking up a lot of Turkish. :)  They are very traditional, conservative Muslims.  Today (Friday) is their holy day, so the Father came home early and we chatted.  We talked for an hour about Islam and the LDS faith.  The Spirit was clearly present.  We are both good people trying to follow God and have happy families.

4:30 - Emmeline is sleepy and keeps trying to pull up my shirt to nurse (we are trying really hard to ween) so we come home.  She goes down for a nap and I work on some Girl Scouts work.  ( I love this job.  I speak Spanish, am paid pennies, and I work alongside fabulous women.)

5:00 - Emmeline wakes up (Mama!  Hi!  Mama!) and just wants to snuggle.  She points to my bed and signs please.  I don't go fast enough, so she signs again and yells "PEASE!"  We get in bed and snuggle hard.  I try to watch a little Netflix, but we both fall asleep fast.  Yikes, she is never going to want to go to bed tonight.  But she has such a bad chest cough, I want her to rest as much as she can.

7:15 - I am cleaning a little, waiting for my girl to wake up.  We were going to take Tay dinner, but I was worried about her being sick, so he runs home.  That is the perk of living within a 4 minute walk of campus!  He takes a brain break and we get to see him.  He is home to eat yummy Turkish food for about 10 minutes and heads back.  Emmeline makes him happy by yelling "bye bye DADA!"  Emmeline eats Turkish food and blueberries for dinner

7:45 - And nooooowwwwww Emmeline is super awake and ready to play.  We play the piano together, but after a while she pushes me away so she can play by herself.  We clean the kitchen and the high chair mess and her bedroom.  She runs around and plays with her toys while I fold laundry.  She keeps taking books to her favorite book nook in my bedroom. I read to her and she practices saying the words.  We clean the bathroom - I scrub and she pulls things off the shelves.  Everything takes three times as long with my little sidekick.  She insists she can scrub the toilet HERSELF.

9:00 - We color St. Patrick's Day cards to get in the mail tomorrow.  She gets a little bored of coloring and moves on to the shamrock confetti.  Somehow she opens the package - she is a magician that way - and confetti goes EVERYWHERE.  It sticks to her toes and her fingers - which both delights her and frustrates her.  This keeps her occupied for a good 40 minutes - a fun tactile activity.  We Face Time with both Taylor at school and Auntie M. in Utah.  Thank goodness for technology.

9:45 - Time for bed.  We lather on the lotion, put on jammies, brush teeth, read a couple books, sing a song, and say a prayer.  She is good about folding her arms for prayers and then clapping for herself after.  This little routine is sacred to me.  I love her room, the soft light of the little lamp, and the beautiful baby furniture.  We are indebted students, but our home is lovely and full of lovely things.  People are so generous to us.  It makes me happy to have such a happy space.

10:00 - She goes down with a smile, blowing me kisses good bye.  I am overwhelmed by how much I love her and how grateful I am to be her mother.   I feel anxious that I am going to forget everything, that time is going by too fast, and that I am bad at documenting her little life.  I feel sorry that I don't have a fancy camera to record every happy moment, like the mommy bloggers I follow.  I worry that everything is so good, something horrible is coming.

But then I remember the good examples in my life.  I think of Ann Lewis, who records her life with words and inspires me, and I think that maybe it isn't too late to document the special moments.  I am grateful to live so close to my parents, who we see almost everyday, and grateful that they too can witness how extraordinary Emmeline is and participate in each fun phase.  I am grateful for my good jobs that I am able to do while primarily staying at home with Emmeline.  They help me to remember myself and my hobbies and my interests.  I am grateful that Taylor is a hard worker, that he is driven,

and that he loves what he studies.  It was so hard to get into medical school, and we definitely don't take it for granted.  We are happy to be here.



And there is our day.  I don't know if Emmeline will care to remember it 20 years from now, but I will.  We are happy people.  We have family and the gospel and good neighbors and a home filled with the Spirit.  I am grateful for all the insignificant moments that make my life significant.

5 Years

I have been particularly nostalgic this week, aching for my Chilean family and missing the beautiful country.   I love the Chilean people, I love the county, I love who I was and what I learned while in Chile.  I hope there is a big movie theater in Heaven where I can go relive those wonderful months.

It has now been 5 years since the terremoto.  I saw the best and worst of humanity (and myself) during the earthquake and the days after.  

Here are some blurry pictures, news headlines, and emails from the Earthquake.  I hope I never forget.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/americas/02/27/chile.quake/index.html

Dear Family, 

I am sorry I was not a able to send out an email last Monday, things were a little "shaky" and I unfortunately was not able to.  Life is settling down here (literally - we get regular tremors where the earth is trying to resettle) and I will try to give you a brief explanation of what is going on.

I am guessing that everyone in the continental US heard my mother´s cries of agony and realize that there was a pretty decent earthquake in Concepcion last Saturday.  It was the first natural disaster I have lived through, and as such this week was rather emotional.  Everyone in this area went through various feelings, ranging from fear to confusion to relief to worry to gratitude to worry to anger to comradery.  The missionaries in Concepcion were so, so blessed, and I have learned a lot from this experience.

Friday we had a good day - we taught several really good lessons where the spirit was really strong.  One man we have been working with for months had a baptisimal date for Saturday, but told us Friday he wasn't sure and needed more time.  We went to bed happy, tired from a long day, and grateful to be missionaries. 

In the middle of the night we woke up to an incredible roaring noise and the house shaking like a boat.  We sleep in bunkbeds, and Hermana Carzoli fell off the bed with a yelp.  The other three girls kind of huddled on the floor, and I stayed on the top bunk trying to hold on. It was like a really rocky boat ride - Mom and Abigail would have gotten sick.  The most notable think about the quake was the length of time - we just waited and waited for it to end - it felt like it lasted forever. We were all fine - I tried to joke, and the other sisters got a little mad. When it finally did end, we were a little shell shocked, and decided it best to go to the main and more sturdy floor of the house.  After making our way downstairs, we got on our knees to say a prayer of thanks for our safety, and during the prayer there was a knock on the door.  We didn´t answer at first - we were a little scared - but then we heard a welcome voice say "soy yo" (I am me).  

This was probably the most tender experiences of my life.  The voice belonged to Leonardo, a new convert who lives just around the corner.  His family have been members for years, but he was kind of a gruff man, and didn{t want to have anything to do with the Mormons.  But miracles happen, and he got baptized in October. Anyway, he is still a rather stoic man - doesnt show very many emotions, but every once in a while we find icecream or chocolate cake or firewood on our doorstep, and thats how we know he loves us.  Anyway, he was at the door, and as soon as I heard those two words - "soy yo" - we immediatly recognized his voice and felt a wave of calm and reassurance flood over us.  I was filled with love and gratitude for this man, and knew that if he was taking care of us, we would all be ok. I was ready to follow him wherever, even though I was in a silly grandma nightgown without any shoes.  He let us take a second to put on clothes, but said several times - hurry up girls, we gotta go!  We were leaving the house, and he asked how we were - fine.  We asked how he was and he answered  - freaking scared.  I am so, so grateful for all the good people in Chile who take good care of us.  Anyway, we went to a plaza in the neighborhood to wait until the sup came up.  While we were waiting, I thought about what happened.  I hope I will be as obedient and ready to follow another voice as we were with Leo.  I hope I will be able to immediatly recognize and feel strength from God's voice, another great "yo soy."  This thought just hit me so tremendously as I was sitting in the dark, with the earth trembling every couple minutes.  God is always reaching down to guide us and help us and give us strength - but will we recognize His voice when the time comes?  I hope so.

We stayed in the plaza for several more hours waiting for the sun to come up.  I remember feeling worried about not getting enough sleep and having to start excersizing and studying right away.  I also remember feeling - oh this is great, EVERYONE Is going to want to repend and be baptized now - Christian is going to change his mind about getting baptized!  When the sun came up, however, we realized the gravity of the situation, and why the adults were so tense.  There was quite a bit of destruction, with additional gas explosions.  We went back to our house to find it trashed - everything had fallen down and broken and was all over the floor...it looked a lot like my bedroom at home.  There was quite of a bit of destruction...except in our bedroom.  We walked through all the debris to get to our bedroom, and when we walked in we immediatly felt so much gratitude and a knowledge that we had Heavenly protection.  Our room was untouched - down to the rickety bookcase that had my glasses on it.  Our little toothpick room had been protected.

So that is a pretty detailed description of the earthquake. We were blessed, really taken care of. There are lots and lots of people who weren't so lucky.  There are missionaries in other parts who lost everything - houses included, but in all the missions the missionaries were protected.  The week after was exciting...we saw the best and worst of humanity.  There was a lot of looting and pillaging - from the poor to the rich, the wicked to the Elders Quorum alike.  There was also a lot of goodness - neighbors taking care of eachother, our new converts taking care of church members, kindness and comradery.  All through the city you can hear praises to God for safety and protection, but then at the same time, a lot of people still dont want to come to church.  Christian still doesnt want to get baptized.  Not even an earthquake changes some people.

The gospel came alive to me this week.  The Book of Mormon became less of a cannonized history and more of book of prophesy.  I feel like I really saw Gadianton robbers, and that I really saw miracles.  In Alma, we learn that the people who are humbled without being compelled to be humbled are blessed.  This is true!  An earthquake did not drive people to repentance.  We should not wait for a sign, or the "right time" to align our lives with what God wants.  Everyday is the day of our repentance - right now is when we should be prepared to meet God.  I have loved rereading parts of the Book of Mormon in the last week - it is the word of God.

We saw varying responses from people this week.  We saw a lot of worry and fear.  From the new converts and faithful church members we saw faith and hope and peace.  I have come to understand better what it means to be a covenant people.  In Mosiah we learn about the strength that comes from the covenants we make.  The Lord is bound when we are obedient to our covenants.  Its true!  As soon as I can learn how to aptly teach that to people, and as soon as we have enough water to fill up the font, we are going to have a line of people in white.

I have to run - sorry this is lengthy.  Thanks for your prayers - they were felt.  Keep praying for the people in Chile.  DO YOUR FOOD STORAGE!!!!!!!  THIS IS DIVINE COUNSEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The people who were prepared did not have to fear.  Unfortuanately, not many people in Chile were prepared.  Have lots of water - I did not realize how much water we need.  I still have not showered - we have decided that it is more important to flush the toilets than to shower.  Try living on your food storage for a week - it really is surprising how much water we need.

I love you!  Thanks for being so good to me.  We are safe and happy and blessed.  Please think about the missionaries in your area.

Love, The STINKY Sister Hardy

Dear Family, 

Thank you for your prayers - we are feeling them!!!!  We were so blessed this week, and I am so grateful to be a missionary in Concepciòn.  I am also so grateful for the emails you have all sent to me - I am sorry I can`t respond to them individually, but I am grateful for your thoughts - please keep them coming.

Living in post-earthquake Chile is like ultra missionary - regular work and service, without the showers.  We are doing fine - great, in fact, but still without water - apparently there was quite a bit of damage to the pipes.  We are grimy, the house is grimy, but somehow the Chileans don`t really look any different...it makes me wonder how often they shower when there is the luxury of running water.  This morning we woke up to water out of the pipes - we were overjoyed - but the water only lasted long enough to flush one toilet.  I had no idea how much water I would need - Bishop Joe, way to go gathering water...but you need more still, trust me.

We were so blessed this week!  We have been teaching really wonderful people- FAMILIES - and we are running around happy.  We taught a young couple the Restoration on Friday, and it was such a tender, tender experience.  After sharing the First Vision, everyone in the room was quiet for a few minutes, and the couple was very emotional.  They felt, rather than heard, what we were trying to teach.  They came to church on Sunday, as did several other young families.  We had 13 investigators at church.......THIRTEEN!!!!!!  That is incredible, usually we have two or three.  All these families have young kids, and Sacrament meeting was like a circus.  The chapel was filled to the brim - people had to stand in the back, and I was so happy.  It is beautiful to see people come to the house of the Lord, to feel the love of our Heavenly Father and see the little monkey children running around.

We saw miracle upon miracle this week, but I want to devote the rest of the letter to telling you a little about what I have learned in March.  I have grown a lot, I feel - and not just around the waste.  Here are a few of the things I learned:

1.  It is not sanitary to never wash dishes, even when water is a endangered resource.  Fortunately, you can use water from the toilet tank to wash the plates.

2. Unfortunately, neither is it sanitary to never flush the toilets.  We tried everything to converve water to put in the tanks, but our efforts were not enough.  We are renting the house we live in from people who left all their stuff...including their wine collection.  We have asked several times that they take their wine - we are missionaries, and we don`t want it in the house.  They never did, and we had the brilliant idea of using the wine to put in the toilet tanks.  It worked - there is now a better smell.

3. I am becoming domesticated!  I now know how to cook lentils, beans, soy meat, make bread, cook over a fire, and wash clothes by hand.  However, I now also know it is not enough to just have these things in your food storage.  When preparing food storage, you really need to think through the details.  Do you have a way to clean the water, or to cook food?  Do you have spices to cook the beans and lentils?  Do you have yeast to make bread?  Do you have enough dish soap, laundrey detergent, clorox?  Batteries? Gas for the car? A radio?  Candles?  Being prepared is NO JOKE!  Try living on what you have for one week, and you might have a better idea of how to prepare.

4.  Chilean media is VERY censored.  Last night all of Chile had a major blackout, and the reason is still unknown.  The best way to get information, relief, instruction, or help is through prayer.  The prayer lines are never down, or busy.

5. Missionaries NEED mail!  Thank you to all who write!  Write the missionaries in your ward, send them peanut butter, send them emails - it is all good.  Thanks for your support - being a missionary is wonderful.

Yesterdays church service was really good.  This whole experience has taught me a lot in not just how to prepare for emergencies, but also how we should react to emergencies- especially the little day to day emergencies.  It is better to serve than criticize, help rather than accuse, smile rather than cry.  I have had a lot of repenting to do the last week - there were a lot of stressful moments I could have used more productively.  I encourage you all to better your reactions to little emergencies.

I love you all - have to run!  Thanks for everything!

Love, 

The STILL STINKY Sister Hardy

Happy Happy Happy

It has been eons since I have written.  Life goes so fast...especially when you are happy.

And my, oh my, we are so happy.  I am overwhelmed with how happy we are right now.  We have been so blessed.

We have lots to record and remember...school, Halloween, Mommy and Emmy trips, Thanksgiving, Birthday, Christmas, job, snowmobiling, calling, Mexico.

But this post is just because I want to remember that we are happy.

Emmeline is 13 months, and I can't get her to stop smiling.  This age is my favorite.

She laughs, she plays, she teases, she runs around, she talks, she gives kisses.  Right now she is sleeping and taking naps really well (hallelujah).  She loves to read books.  She waves, blows kisses, and spontaneously puckers up to offer smooches.  She walks  runs, and it is the cutest totter.  She jabbers and blabbers, but her words consist of HI! (first word), mama, and dada.  She can vigorously shake her head "no."  She ADORES her grandparents, and especially loves to sit with her Grandpa Hardy and have him scratch her back.  She loves chocolate milk.  She knows where to find her nose and her button. She is a scrawny little thing.  She folds her arms to say prayer, and then immediatly claps for herself (rather irreverent).  She claps for herself for everything.  She has lots of personality, lots of opinions, and lots of giggles.

And I am a happy mama.  I feel fullfilled in a way I just wasn't expecting.  Seeing her grow and learn makes me full.  I only ever want her to be happy.

So because this is a spontaneous post, I will just share a few blurry iphone pictures of our happy little life.  And hopefully I will revisit my blog sometime soon.